Purity

With each passing year, it seems as if the mean age for losing one's virginity decreases. Nowadays it's all too common to hear of a 14 year old child engaging in sex.

So when someone chooses to abstain from premarital sex in a culture dominated & infatuated by sex, questions will arise and judgements will be formed. And unfortunately most of the time these questions & judgements are negative. For example, "Why on earth would someone choose to lead 'that' kind of life?" Another one of my favorites is, "What a prude!"

We are all well aware that the most common type of person who believes in "saving himself" for marriage, is a Christ-follower.  The interesting thing to note though, is that non-Christians are not the only ones to pass judgements on virgins. I know just as many Christians who engage in premarital sex, and just like nonbelievers,  are quick to pass judgement on virgins & label them as "weird."

So where do I fall within this spectrum? Do I believe in premarital sex or do I believe in waiting until my wedding night?

I, Megan McGraw, am a 25 year old virgin & couldn't be more content with my choice.

I'm sure you're curious as to why I'm consciously choosing to remain pure until my wedding night. So buckle up, ya'll. I'm going to give you insight into the mind of a 25 year old virgin (insert gasps).

There are many reasons as to why I've chosen to remain a virgin. One such influence that has guided my stance on premarital sex is my parents' relationship with one another.

I am very blessed to have two parents that are still married. They met their freshman year of high school and have been committed to one another ever sense. Seeing how they treat one other with the utmost care & tenderness has beautifully illustrated what love truly means & shaped me into the woman I am today. It is because of their mutual love and respect for one other that I do not have a tainted view of love. I am what I call a "hopeful romantic." I believe in the power of love. I believe in soul-mates & I believe in the happily ever after God is in the process of scripting for me as I type this very blog entry.

Don't get me wrong, my mother has been a tremendous influence in my life with regards to saving myself for marriage, but more so than anything, I know the mindset to remain pure for my God & husband is due to my dad's influence.  The way he honors my heart has set the standard for what I'm looking for in a man, and until that standard is met, I will patiently wait for my sweet husband.

My dad is the kindest, most selfless, thoughtful, loving, patient, & devoted man you will ever meet. He is the true embodiment of a gentleman. His treatment of me has set very high standards in all of my interpersonal relations--not just romantic ones. I know I deserve respect, love, & tenderness, and will not settle for anything less. It is because of my dad I am an independent woman who will not let another person, especially man define my worth as a person. I am the gal who is not willing to "settle" because she's feeling lonely or needs words of affirmation to feel good about herself. I'm waiting for my Godly gentleman who will step up & meet my standards. I know he's out there & my trust in this lies in the fact that I have a wonderful, loving God who adores me & wants to give me the desires of my heart. (Psalm 37:4).

The third reason is out of reverence for God. If I can be perfectly honest with you, I've never been in love before. It's something I want more than anything. But I know the reason I have not been in love yet is all thanks to the big man upstairs. When I was younger I always thought there was something wrong with me because I wasn't quick to jump into relationships like my other friends. I never felt the need to be in a relationship with a man.  Sure, I desired a boyfriend, but I knew my self worth as a woman wasn't based on my relationship status.  Years later I now know my self worth is based solely on God's love for me.  My identity lies within Christ, and Christ alone.

Now this may surprise you but I've not always been a woman of strong faith. I always believed in God but did not have an intimate relationship with him until I was 20. (I'm 25) now.

Looking back, I now know that God was the one behind the scenes, protecting me from getting involved in short term relationships that would lead nowhere.  He knows my heart.  When I love, I love deeply.  Knowing that, He shielded me away from potential suitors because He knew there was a time before I gave myself completely to Him that I may have fell victim to lust. And there I was in my younger years, thinking I was the resilient one, the one protecting myself from future heartbreak.

I know in my heart of hearts this was God's plan for my life. I know God has orchestrated my love life and in time I will meet, and fall in love the man God has designated to be my husband. So until then, I am content to remain single. It allows me to get to know the heart of my Beloved even more and grow deeper in my faith.  It turns out to be a win-win situation anyway because my husband will ultimately be the beneficiary of those single years that increased my faith tenfold.

The final reason for remaining a virgin is out of love for my future husband. I cannot think of a more beautiful gift than giving all of myself to him, both in the physical & emotional sense. I mean how epic is it knowing that a woman has been saving herself for you & only you? If that isn't love that I don't know what is.

Now that you know my reasoning, I'm sure you have some questions.

One such question I get all the time is "aren't you scared that if you don't experiment now you will never know what 'good' sex is?"

To this I ask you, how do you operationally define good sex? To me, "good" sex has a deeply relational/spiritual connection to it as well as psychical. Call me crazy, but nowadays I think it's usually one or the other. You have the 2-2 deal when you let God script your love story.

Furthermore, of course the sex will be good! This is the man that God has ordained for me. With this comes the assurance that God will give me a man that will fulfill the deepest desires of my heart & know how to satisfy me sexually! Pretty awesome, huh? 

There will also be no awkward tension & inhibitions between us because we were best friends before hopping into bed together.  I mean think about how awkward first dates are. Each person is feeling the other out while being mindful to be on his best behavior, so that he may impress his date. When you save yourself for marriage there's no need to impress & you're free to be yourself. Inhibitions? Ain't nobody got time for that!

Another question I get is: "aren't you tempted?"

Um, ya....out of sheer curiosity. But not at the expense of yielding to my belief system. I value my God and husband way too much to give into my flesh.

Now I know I'm a rarity these days, so while it would be my prayer that everyone could refrain from sex until they are married, I know that's not the reality.  What I do ask is that if you are engaging in premarital sex, at least do it with someone that RESPECTS and LOVES you! Be with someone who values your heart and soul as much as they value your body.

Love, Megs

I've got my rose-tinted stunna shades on! :)

We live in a world where the headlines read: "Murder; Death; Natural disaster; Fiscal ruin...." the list goes on.  Rarely, do we read/hear about breaking news that has to do with a simple act of kindness & when we do, that story becomes the talk of town for weeks on end. 

Do you remember when the New York police man offered a pair of shoes to a homeless man, and the news coverage that followed?  

Now I am by no means criticizing that sweet police officer's gesture; in fact, it's the exact opposite. I celebrate & encourage all acts of kindness.  But it troubles me that the current human condition is such that people were almost in disbelief that another man would go out of his way to do something kind for another human being.  

Shouldn't it be second nature to give of ourselves to a brother or sister in need?  You see a person slip on the street, you offer him your hand; you see a mom in the grocery store who lost sight of her child as she was picking out a box of cereal, you offer to help find her child; etc.

It is my hope that someday the ability to choose good over evil will be manifested in the headlines, that the current negative headlines that society feeds us will become a thing of a past, and replaced by headlines that read something along the lines of, "hope, faith, love."

The good Lord has blessed us all with innate goodness--some more than others, but the bottom line is: we must act on on our kindness impulse & choose to do good to others.

I've got my rose-tinted stunna shades & I'm ready to make kindness an epidemic! Care to join me? Make kindness your legacy!  :D