Relationship Truths

Lately I've been thinking a lot about relationships.

In the last two weeks, three close friends of mine have all experienced breakups.

I've realized a couple of things when it comes to dating:

1.) It's very crucial to enter into a relationship with someone that comes from a stable upbringing.

I've dated at least three guys who came from tragic upbringings. For example, one of my exes had a mother who cheated on her father; his brother then committed suicide; and the kicker? His mother used up all of my exes' college tuition fund for plastic surgery.

There was a time when I was younger that I wanted so desperately to fill the void that each of those gentleman was experiencing because of the lack of love in their upbringings. I wanted to provide stability in their lives. I wanted to be the mama bird, nurturing her baby birds back to life after they sustained broken wings. I wanted to shower them with love, to show them the power of unconditional love I was so fortunate to have received from my parents while growing up.

I wanted nothing more than to heal their emotional wounds & give them hope & faith in love!

But I now realize that's not my fight to win. Yes, you can love a person with all your might, but ultimately you cannot heal their past scars. That's on them.

And I want to make it very clear that while a person can experience tragedy in his life, there are always going to be exceptions where a person doesn't let those pains dictate and taint his view of love.

Who is this man? He is a man of acceptance, not denial; he's conscious of what he's been through and has the desire to heal from the wounds of his past.

The second thing I've come to terms with:

2.) Being in a relationship where the love given and received is distributed equally.

I feel like so many relationships nowadays are not in equilibrium when it comes to the amount of love one has for his significant other, and vice-versa.

You hear people talk all the time about how "he" loves her more; or "she" loves him more.

Love shouldn't be this way! Love is about give and take, not who loves who more.

It's been said that "He who loves least controls" the relationship. Hits home, huh?

But we shouldn't be so quick to jump into those types of relationships & more importantly, feel satisfied by remaining in those relationships.

We must remain patient, trusting in God's timing and having confidence that at the right moment He is going to bring the man/woman of our dreams into our lives.

Know your worth: why settle for rump roast when you deserve filet mignon?