Validation

Earlier this week my mom and I had a nice heart to heart. She wanted to take me shopping so I could purchase some cute pieces for going out during the Holidays. That lead to the topic of discussion as to why I'm not a big fan of "going out."

To be honest, I'm not a big fan of going out because whenever a group of women get together, you know there's at least one person who feels the need to constantly snap pictures & upload them to social media sites, such as facebook and/or instagram. Taking pictures is a great way to document memories, but as I've grown older I no longer feel the need to broadcast my every social move to the world. I'd rather spend my time engaged in conversation with my girlfriends as opposed to being on constant lookout for a good "photo-op."

And not only that but I'm such a homebody! A perfect Saturday night to me entails: a medium rare steak; a cozy pair of sweats and hoodie; and being surrounded by my parents, dogs, and close friends while watching a football game. I'm such a such a tomboy homebody and that's the way I like it!

But, back to the main focus of this blog entry: validation in the form of peers' acceptance.

So many people these days use social media as a means to do just that: seek out acceptance.

Now I'm not condemning people for taking pictures that warrant a round of applause. There's nothing more inspiring to me or makes me happier than to see pictures friends post of themselves competing in a marathon; crossfit competition; bodybuilding contest; graduating; getting married; or having a baby. Those moments are so special & should be broadcasted for all of your friends & family to see.

But it becomes a problem when a person feels the need to post daily or weekly self-portraits of themselves as a means to seek out validation from others or use it as a tool to upstage others and make themselves seem better than others. A perfect example is someone posting a picture of himself on instagram in a 100,000 dollar car he just bought.

I mean, that's great he can afford an expensive car, but I think the question everyone wants to know is does the car's exterior match the interior of his heart?

So where does this idea of self acceptance leave me at this stage of my life? I'm simply not one to post self-portraits of myself anymore. There was, a time, however, when I felt the need to document my "beauty" to the world and did on MySpace. Lol.

And while I no longer post self-portrait pictures anymore, I know many people will view the competition pictures I post as being one in the same. However, I post those pictures of myself not because I'm interested in people telling me "how pretty I am," nor am I interested in the number of "likes" I receive.

I post those pictures for two reasons:

The first being: I want to empower women & show them that a strong, athletic, & fit female is far sexier than a woman who is a slave to the scale. In today's society body image is so concerned with how you look in the mirror, instead of how your body operates as a functional system. Having a strong body not only makes you feel confident, and able to take on the world, but also has tremendous benefits to your overall health and longevity.

And not only that, but being physically fit can save your life: The human body is such an intricate and hardy system that is capable of so many amazing feats. I am always so amazed when I hear stories of men and women encountering situations that should end in extreme injury or even death but they are able to rise above it due to the amazingness that is the human body. (For example, the woman who is chased down by a black bear while going for a hike but is able to tackle him to the ground or the man who is pinned underneath a truck, yet is able to find the strength and energy reserves to remove the car off of his body). This is due to the body's fully equipped sympathetic nervous as well as another mechanism in which scientists are still investigating but they believe it has to do with the body's ability to numb pain; this is called analgesia. (An example of this would be the football player who gets closelined and thinks he just sustained a small bone bruise, so he continues to play for the rest of the 4th quarter. But after the game ends, the pain receptors kick in, and he finds out that his tibia is broken).

The second reason I post those pictures is to showcase to the world the divinity that resides within my soul which is spurred by God's goodness.

In scripture there is a verse that states:

Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own...

♥1 Corinthians 6:19

I use my body as a means to glorify Him and make His presence known.

Anyone that knows anything about physique competitions knows how physically & mentally challenging preparing for a show is.

But what I want the world to know is that when you rely on The Lord for your sole source of fuel and strength, and your true aim is to glorify Him in your total being: both physically & spiritually, anything is possible.

But, back again, to the main subject of this post: the fleshly pursuit of validation from others....

That's not what I'm interested in nor about anymore. Yes, the pursuit of acceptance dictated much of my adolscent life, especially my high school years. I let how others saw me define part of my self-worth which lead to a never ending cycle of insecurity, tears, unhappiness, & major depression, for me. 

But that was before I knew God. And even once I did develop a relationship with God it would take a good couple of years to fully embrace my uniqueness. It has been almost five years since I became a follower of Christ and in that period of time God has radically transformed my heart. I can confidently say that I no longer desperately cling to the security blanket of acceptance and validation from others.

I now know that my identity is found in Christ. I am a woman of God & the only validation I need is from my Maker. And the amazing thing is when you are a follolwer of Christ, you don't need to go on a validation quest for Him to approve of you! Our validation is met the very moment we surrender our lives to Him. He died on the cross for you & me because we were that worthy and precious to Him!!! What more validation do we need other than the realization that comes with knowing a man who we never met was willing to lay down his life for us in order that we may no longer be slaves to sin, and live lives of peace?

Ever since I gave up on the need to impress others, my life has taken on new meaning. My life's purpose is now to live for & serve my God wholeheartedly. And not only that, but there's such a sense of peace in your being that comes with being at ease in your own skin.

But I must remain cognizant that I am only human and with that comes the inevitable truth that occasionally I will slip up & desire an ego boost from my fellow human beings. But I must never ever fall victim again to that never ending cycle of destruction that comes with living a life solely devoted to impressing others.

So what's a gal or guy to do in order to defeat that self destructive cycle? We must actively seek Him out on a daily basis, and constantly remind ourselves that using others as a crutch to reach self-validation is a lose-lose situation.

We must also remind ourselves that the only validation that truly matters is the validation that comes from knowing God, and your belief that you have it going on! Remind yourself frequently that you're all that and a bag of chips....or in my case, I'm not a big fan of chips, so, all that & a container of sweet tatter fries.  ;D

So this is a promise to myself from here on out: In a world that's so fixated on impressing others, I will be the living, breathing exception. I will continue to live for the audience of THE ONE.