Tears don't come in a one size fits all box. They can be the result of immense joy, suffering struggle, pain, or anxiety. The key is to embrace them when they come softly knocking on your heart & not bottle them up. Don't let society's view on tears deceive you into thinking only the weak cry. There is no shame in crying. In fact, there's a quiet strength released when an individual cries; it exposes the individual to himself. It affords him the opportunity to awaken his soul & grow exponentially.
Last week was a week of tears & growth.
What motivational force are you driven by in your professional life? For some it's the label. Some are more interested in the title behind their name than the actual job itself. Others are motivated in seeking out professions they think will generate the most income. And still for some, the only reason they chose to go into a certain line of work is because they felt immense pressure from their parents..."You'll only be successful if you become a doctor;" "You don't disappoint want to your father, do you? You must follow in your father's footsteps & take over the family business." And then there are the last two categories: people who are driven out of service to the community & people who are truly passionate in a certain line of work & will risk job security in order to do something they are truly happy doing everyday.
For me it's never been about monetary gain. It's always been about service. When I was a little girl I wanted to be a cop. I had an autograph book that I would carry around & any time I saw a cop in public, I would run up to him & ask him to sign it. That 5 year old Megan has always defined "success" in terms of serving the community & it is that precise reason why I had a mini breakdown last week. The tears shed were out of sheer frustration & fear that I'm not currently making a difference in the lives of those around me. Why? Because I'm at a standstill in my life academically & professionally.
I feel like everyone around me is excelling in their professional lives & here I am at 25 years, still living at home, going to school & not working full-time. I feel like I'm waiting for my "real" life to speak to begin. I wish I knew four years ago that God's ultimate call for my life was to become a pediatric oncology nurse. It would have saved me a lot of aggravation & money, but I need to remind myself that God operates on his own time table. I know this transition stage is needed & I need to learn to be more gentle & patient with myself. I know I'm working towards something, something much bigger than myself & this "big picture" is where I also place my hope & faith.
This week I've been studying the gospel of Luke & Mary has given me new insight into living a life of radical faith. Although initially afraid & confused as to why the angel Gabriel would appear at her home and declare her the future mother of Jesus, Mary took the angel at his word because he was sent by God....Mary responded, "I am the Lord's servant. May everything you have said about me come true." (Luke 1:38)
Can you imagine being in Mary's shoes? Having an angel appear and tell you that you would be conceiving a child even though you were a virgin? Mary doesn't question God's call for her her life. She offers no resistance. There is no talk of being afraid about what others might label her. She doesn't ask the angel when the she will become pregnant or give birth. She simply trusts in God's word & let's Him operate according to His purposes & time frame.
I need to frame my life with the faith Mary did. I need to let God lead me the way He lead Mary.
Instead of struggling to control the timing of events so they are more convenient for me, I need to let Him take the reign & let events unfold as He sees fit. Nothing frustrates The Lord more when we attempt to manipulate situations. It robs God of who He is, and takes away the wisdom God wants to lavish you with during those seasons of impatience.
Instead of struggling to control the timing of events so they are more convenient for me, I need to let Him take the reign & let events unfold as He sees fit. Nothing frustrates The Lord more when we attempt to manipulate situations. It robs God of who He is, and takes away the wisdom God wants to lavish you with during those seasons of impatience.
This is beautiful Megan. I want to let you know that I have been in this exact same place, in this same moment that you were in, and for all of the same reasons. It's comforting to know that I am not alone in having this feeling when I had it. And I want you to know that you are not alone. I know what this feels like. You're right, God doesn't like when we try and interfere with His plan and timing because His timing is perfect. He knows us more than anyone on this earth, and he knows our abilities more than we do. He knows when the best time is for us to transform into something much greater than we could ever imagine. This is the scary yet empowering part, letting go, taking a chance, and having faith in Him. As humans, it's normal for us to feel impatient, we tend to want results now. But, we need to remember to be patient because He is patient with us. :)
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